Mindset: How to Vibe Check Yourself (So You Can Actually Live Your Best Life)

 If your energy’s been feeling off lately, this episode is your realignment moment. Today on The Freq Show, we’re diving into what a true vibe check is — and no, it’s not just a TikTok trend. It's a powerful practice of radical self-awareness that can shift your mood, your mindset, and your entire frequency.

I’ll walk you through what a vibe check really means, why it’s essential if you want to live a high-frequency life, and share 5 simple, actionable steps to vibe check yourself anytime you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or low energy. We’ll also talk about how your thoughts, your home, and even your habits are reflections of your current vibration — and what to do if you realize it’s time for a reset.

If you're ready to upgrade your energy, feel more creative, and actually enjoy your life more, this one’s for you. Plus, I’m giving you a small but mighty homework assignment to help you start shifting today.
Ready to tune into a better frequency? Let's vibe check ourselves, together.

🎧 Mentioned in this episode:
Blog post: How to Vibe Check Yourself for a Better Life
Resource: The Freq App — your go-to for real-time energetic recalibration

What is a vibe check?
How to raise your vibration in everyday life
5 steps to shift your energy fast
Mindset maintenance for a high-frequency lifestyle
How your thoughts, home, and habits reflect your energy

✨ Reminder: Your vibe is your power. Live on purpose. Live on frequency. 

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Transcript

Jaclyn: 0:02

Hello, hello, and welcome, welcome, welcome to another episode of The Freq Show. I'm Jaclyn Steele Thurmond, joined by my husband, Sam Thurmond, and today we are going to talk about how to vibe check yourself so you can actually live your best life. And if you tuned into last week's episode, which was on relationships and energetic alignment with your partner, this is what I referenced about taking responsibility for our own energy. And, yes, we want to be supportive of our partners, yes, we want to be in tune with our partner's energy, but ultimately, at the end of the day, you are responsible for you, I'm responsible for me, he's responsible for himself, and I think that that is a very empowering statement. So let's talk about vibe checks. What is a vibe check to you?

Sam: 0:54

A vibe check is just taking a minute to stop and consider the energy that you're putting out into the world, the framework that you see the world through, and ultimately understanding what you're creating. Not understanding, but taking a moment to be aware of the reality you're creating.

Jaclyn: 1:27

Yeah, yeah, I totally agree with you in my notes. I have a moment of radical self-awareness, we could call this a frequency check, too, but a moment where we get really honest with ourselves, we take a breath, and we go. Is this energy I'm living in helping or hurting me? And then, if you live within the context of a family or have children or a spouse, is this energy I'm living in helping or hurting my spouse or my child? Because, again, we are responsible for ourselves, but we're also responsible for creating a loving environment for our family to thrive in.

Sam: 2:11

Right.

Jaclyn: 2:12

Right, and so I think these regular vibe checks are really helpful, not only for our mental space, but also for our physical selves as well, because they help us regulate our own nervous systems. I'm so happy that the phrase nervous system is becoming something that is common in the American lexicon, because we are, as Americans, so overstimulated, we are overworked, we are overstressed, overstimulated, we are overworked, we are overstressed, and so regulating our nervous systems helps us to get grounded, get calmer, think more clearly, show up in the world in a more authentic, loving, kind way. And again, I think a lot of this is rooted in a vibe check, or a frequency check, and figuring out where we are. Let me give you an example. So last week and I referenced this in last week's episode too, but last week Sam was coming out of kind of a tough season, and as he was coming out, I had, I feel like it was subconscious at first and then it became conscious, but I was like, oh, my goodness, he's okay.

Jaclyn: 3:31

Now I can address some of the things that have occurred over the last month or two in my life and move through some of the grief, some of the feelings that I have around them. And I did that, and as I was addressing those feelings of loss and grief and sadness and letting go of expectations for how I felt things should be, I realized I have a choice. And while I never want to stuff grief, and I never want to deny reality, I have a choice on how I approach things and my mindset around them. Right In Stoic philosophy, we're taught that we can control our thoughts and we can control our actions. There's nothing else that we can control.

Jaclyn: 4:24

And so, as I felt myself moving through that grief I think it was probably day two or three I was like this is one of those situations where I could sink into grief for a long time around this, but that's not what's best for me, that's not what's best for my partner, that's not what's best for my son, that's not what's best for this pregnancy that I am experiencing right now.

Jaclyn: 4:49

And so I have a choice and I picked up Let them the Let them Theory by Mel Robbins, which is perfect timing for what I'm experiencing, and I also decided to write my affirmations on note cards so that in the morning, when I'm having my coffee and my breakfast, I can just be flipping through these note cards, reinforcing the person I am becoming such a depth of grief. I wasn't denying that grief, but I was going. I'm sitting in it now, I'm addressing it, but I don't need to stay here for a long period of time. I really don't. But how do I get out of this? And for me, that was focusing on what I could control: getting a good book, writing my affirmations down, and taking action on my day.

Jaclyn: 6:07

And that really turned things around for me. It made me feel like I took my power back, I took the control that I could take back into my autonomy, into my person, and it refreshed my energy for all of the things that we have going. And it took my focus from that grief to not denying that grief, but just going. You know what? This grief, though it is real, it does not have to encompass my life. It can be something that, like Napoleon Bonaparte says, like I can put my thoughts in a drawer and open and close them. And Napoleon Bonaparte says, Like I can put my thoughts in a drawer and open and close them.

Sam: 6:47

Napoleon Bonaparte says that 

Jaclyn: 6:49

Mm-hmm, he says that, I'm sure more eloquently, but that's the gist of it. Yeah, he said he can open the drawers,

Sam: 6:56

Napoleon Hill or Napoleon Bonaparte?

Jaclyn: 6:57

Napoleon Bonaparte, 

Sam: 6:58

Oh, okay.

Jaclyn: 6:60

Yeah, he talked about how he can open and close the drawers of his mind, 

Sam: 7:04

Oh, that's right, 

Jaclyn 7:06

...and compartmentalize.

Jaclyn: 7:06

Yeah, yeah, and I think, in this season of life that Sam and I are in again, I do not want to deny real feelings, but there is a reality to this season that we are in that requires so much energy of us. Not only do we have a child that we love and we wanna be present for and that needs us, we also have one on the way, and we have a pretty demanding business, and so me allowing myself to get caught up in sadness or grief is not the best way of going about approaching this season. Right? Do you know what I'm trying to say?

Sam: 7:49

Yeah.

Jaclyn: 7:50

Okay, am I explaining that clearly?

Sam: 7:51

Yeah, well, I think the root not to get off topic, but to get off topic, the root for you often is in a relationship. You are someone who doesn't have a surface-level. You don't have a lot of surface-level relationships.

Jaclyn: 8:12

No, I have no patience for surface-level relationships. None,

Sam: 8:15

..and you As a result, you invest a lot of yourself into your relationships, and not everybody is that way. I would say it's a smaller percentage of relationships where you meet or interact with people who kind of who meet you on your level of willingness to invest, and so that can result, and I've seen it. It's happened between us at times, but I've seen it happen a lot over the years where that's just not reciprocated, and that can kind of throw you off. Well, it hurts because they're not reciprocating.

Jaclyn: 9:07

Yeah, I agree, but I feel like and over the last couple of years I've become a realist around those things and I've been much more choosy with my time

Sam: 9:17

That's what I was getting to was that I think your growth over time has been a realization of that fact, and that it is not something that you have to. It's not like you get this hardened heart where you don't view the world the same way and with the same willingness to share yourself, but you recognize that most other people are not that same way, and it's not an affront on you, it's nothing personal to you, and so you've developed the ability to kind of move through. I'll call it disappointment.

Jaclyn: 10:02

Yeah,

Sam: 10:02

Relationally? A lot faster

Jaclyn: 10:03

Well, in this last round was I was being attacked. So it's not like I was just disappointed. Somebody, like really somebody very close to us, really came after me. 

Sam: 10:15

Yeah.. 

Jaclyn: 10:16

So it wasn't that I was just disappointed.

Sam: 10:17

Well, I wasn't, I wasn't talking about that instance, but in general,

Jaclyn: 10:24

But that's what this. That's what that whole sense of grief and sense of loss and sense of sadness was around for me.

Sam: 10:29

Okay, there were a couple of things, so I wasn't talking about that one specifically, but in general. My point is I think you've come a long way in being able to move quickly through those instances when someone else disappoints you relationally, because you don't see it, as I think you recognize that it's outside of your control.

Jaclyn: 10:57

Oh, yeah, 

Sam: 10:58

And it's not you.

Jaclyn: 11:00

Yeah. Well, what I've learned is that people may say one thing, and I have had a tendency in the past to believe what they say versus what they do, what they say versus what they do, and so, as I've gotten older, I've understood that I need to base my reactions off of their actions, not what they say. Yeah, you know, and that's a good thing. Okay, so why are? Why is vibe checking yourself something that matters? Why is a frequency check something that matters? Because if we do not check in with ourselves, life takes over. If we don't consciously and intentionally cultivate our energy, whatever is happening around us will permeate that energy and dictate it, right? And so I think, having that intention, it is so important because it affects the rest of our day, it affects our week, it affects our month, it affects our year, it affects our lives, and we talk about thoughts and thought transformation so much at this podcast and in our App, The Freq App, because thought transformation and healing your mind is the most powerful thing you can do, because the quality of our thoughts really dictates the quality of our life. When you talk about this in terms of different areas of your life, too, and why a vibe check matters your home, your work, your relationships. They're all frequency-based, so your energy affects every area of your life. I mean, think about it this past weekend.

Jaclyn: 12:48

We had a meeting on Friday. We planned out our weekend. We got on the same page. We had a financial meeting. We got on the same page. We had a financial meeting. We got on the same page. We had an amazing weekend, right, and I feel like our home environment reflected that energy. We got all the laundry done. We folded the laundry, we put the laundry away, the kitchen is clean, the groceries are put away. I don't feel like we have piles of stuff piling up, because we have an inner sense of peace, and that's now being reflected in our surroundings, so it permeates every area of life.

Sam: 13:26

Yeah, your dad said when we were in Colorado visiting them that you guys were having a conversation and you kind of had a difference of opinion on creating reality versus uncovering reality, and you guys were saying the same thing, 

Jaclyn: 13:45

Welcome to my relationship with my dad, where we have long conversations saying the same thing but arguing 

Sam: 13:49

But disagreeing. Yeah, yeah, it was funny, but I, you know I your dad's point was that we uncover our reality versus create our reality, and I know that it's a small difference, but I think that it's it. It struck me and it made sense to me because, as opposed to constructing something like I'm gonna manifest this, whatever this new car, this new house or this new person in my life when he was saying uncover, I like that because in my mind, everything exists all at once, right, so it's already there. So, as it relates to this and your vibe check and just being aware of your thoughts, your whatever those thoughts are, that's what you're uncovering and I just picture myself like, and I just picture myself like pulling the cloth off a table and like that's what I, this is what I'm choosing to uncover in my life, if that makes sense. 

Jaclyn: 15:04

Kind of...

Sam: 15:05

So it's again it's a kind of a pointless argument, but we always talk about creating our realities, and his point was that we're just choosing what we encounter in our reality versus creating it, and I don't.

Jaclyn: 15:23

I don't think that was his point, though. I think his point was like reality is what it is, we don't have any control over it, and we just meet it as it is.

Sam: 15:32

I disagree. I disagree. I think because I took the perspective of your dad. You're ready to argue with me

Jaclyn: 15:44

No, I don't think that was his intention.

Sam: 15:48

Well, that's how I took it. So my interpretation of it was that you go through life and in many ways things are out of your control, but at the same time, you do have a power to choose what you uncover in life based on your intentions, based off your energy and frequency.

Jaclyn: 16:14

Yeah, I understand exactly what you're saying. I feel like to me that's a little bit more complicated than saying I am going to intentionally create this life and then, whatever happens, I'm going to meet it and take control of what I can control and let go of the rest. But my intention is to create this, not hopefully uncover it one day.

Sam: 16:34

Intentionally uncover it, not hopefully.

Jaclyn: 16:39

Okay, all right, but going back to why a vibe check matters, we are again responsible for our energy, and that is such a beautiful and empowering thing, but it's also something that we have to take control over. And if you want some extra tools for this, we did a podcast on this, and we have it in the blog, and if you choose how to heal your mind, you can go back and reference that. That's got a lot of good tidbits in it as well. But in this next part of this episode, I want to talk about five steps to vibe check yourself so that we can get down to the nitty gritty and actually go through this process, so that, at the end, you will have a set of tools in your toolbox to empower you.

Jaclyn: 17:27

The first thing is to pause and get present. If we never pause and we never assess, we are missing out on so much of what life has to teach us. I forget who said it, maybe Viktor Frankl, or something said an unexamined mind is a dangerous one. Don't quote me on the person who said that, because I'm not sure, but that's true. If we don't examine our minds, if we don't examine our energy, it could be dangerous. So put down your phone, take a breath, and don't overthink it too much. We have a tendency to overthink. We have a tendency to judge ourselves. Don't judge yourself, but just pause for a minute and ask How do I feel, and Where is this feeling coming from? For me, last week, I felt a sense of grief and sadness, and I was able to trace that feeling back to what had happened in this. It was kind of a trifecta of things that happened in three key relationships in my life, and that's what was causing the grief and the sadness. But I was able to say this is how I feel about it, but I also have the power to make a choice in this moment and to choose differently. So that's step number one: pause and get present, and ask yourself How do I feel? Where's this feeling coming from? The second thing that I think is really important is to notice what feels off. What's draining you right now? Is there tension in your body? Are your thoughts spiraling or grounded? Another question you can ask yourself is Do I feel in control of this moment, or do I feel completely out of control in this moment? So just notice what feels off.

Jaclyn: 19:14

Then, step number three asks yourself. Is this energy serving me? Is this grief serving me? Is this loneliness serving me? Is this sadness serving me? Yes, those are very real feelings that we need to work through, but we don't have to stay in those feelings. We can choose to do the things that are within our power to get out of that state. So, would you pay rent to some roommate who trashes your house? No, absolutely not right.

Jaclyn: 19:46

Then why let that energy live rent-free in your body? Why allow that to permeate your day, your week, your month, your life? You are so powerful, your thoughts are so powerful, your sense of autonomy, it can be so powerful if you choose. And so you have the choice to direct your energy and say I want to move in this direction or I want to move in this direction, and you can choose to take a more empowering stance. Sorry, I'm so stuffed up right now. All right, Step number four: We've paused, we've gotten present, we've noticed what feels off.

Jaclyn: 20:26

We've asked ourselves, is this energy serving me? Step number four is choose a better thought energy serving me. Step number four is choose a better thought, suggest a higher frequency thought. I could say to myself I'm so sad right now, and that may be true, and again, I'm not trying to deny reality here. But a more empowering thought is I may be sad, but I'm going to take action to guard myself from sinking into this and having that be a new state that I get comfortable in. I'm going to choose to pick up that book or go have therapy or talk to my partner about it, so I'm not alone in my own thoughts. I'm going to choose to take action to not stay in this place. Step number five is do something that elevates you.

Jaclyn: 21:20

Tony Robbins talks about this a lot in his books, but physically changing your state. So when I was feeling super sad, I was sitting in bed. It was I don't remember if it was morning or evening, but I was just feeling stuck, and I was feeling literally what is it? Sedentary? I was feeling sedentary in that moment and Tony Robbins talks about the power of changing your state through getting up, going and making yourself a cup of tea, going and taking a walk, doing a cold plunge, listening to some music, listening to a calibration from our Freq App, doing something that is going to stimulate a new thought, a new state of being. It's so important, and you can do that with it can be so simple and so fast. You can just get up and move your body. Do 10 jumping jacks, drink some water, like I said, put on a calibration, call someone who lifts you up, walk barefoot outside for a couple of minutes, do something that will change that state to help shift your frequency.

Jaclyn: 22:29

So, just as a quick review, five steps to vibe check yourself are one pause and get present. Two notice what feels off, whether that's physically or mentally. Step three: ask yourself, is this energy serving me? Step four: choose a better thought, and I would encourage you to even write it out. Write it out 10 times. Write it out 10 times every day for a month until it becomes ingrained in you and ingrained in your DNA and part of that neural pathway, part of those neural pathways that are just going day in and day out, right? And then number five, do something that elevates you, write in your journal, get outside, do something to move your body, but get out of that state. Do you have anything to add to those?

Sam: 23:17

No, I think that's a good all-encompassing checklist.

Jaclyn: 23:21

Good. So then last couple of points, you can't elevate your energy. You can't raise your frequency in chaos. So that's why mindset maintenance and doing these vibe checks is so important, it's essential, it's not optional. And another thing I think is really important to bring into this is you don't have to fix your whole life with one thought. Right, but you can fix that thought in that moment, and the more you do that and the more frequently you do that on a regular basis, the more you do that and the more frequently you do that on a regular basis, the more your life is going to change. There is an affirmation that I have in my affirmation deck. It was written by a doctor over a hundred years ago, but he said every day, in every way, I am getting better and better, and I love reading that in the morning, because you could be struggling with something physical, you could be struggling with something in business, you could be struggling with something in relationships or whatever it is. Every day, in every way, I am choosing to get better and better and better. It doesn't have to be a whole life transformation in one second. It can just be one thought corrected at a time, just like you're editing a paper.

Jaclyn: 24:36

Okay, last point, before we close this out, is high-frequency homework. This is something you could do if you so choose, but maybe set a timer to go off a couple, two or three times today or tomorrow, where the intention for when that timer goes off is to vibe, check yourself and go hey, how am I feeling in this moment and how can I make it better? How can I choose a higher vibrational thought? Okay, if you want more on this topic, go to beckonliving.com. Check out our blog, because we have so many high-frequency blog post topics in there, but also content that is specific to changing your thoughts. Again, the Freq App is a really powerful tool. It's launched, it's ready, it's going. We're looking for feedback on it because there's still some tech glitches we're working out, but there are so many beautiful calibrations on there to help with you and your mindset. And I think we should close out with a question. What should we ask him?

Sam: 25:49

If you're home, your habits and your thoughts are all reflections of your energy. What are they saying about your current vibe?

Jaclyn: 25:57

I love that if you are home, your habits and your thoughts are all reflections of your energy. What are they saying about your current vibe?

Sam: 26:08

You read it better. I put the emphasis on the wrong syllables.

Jaclyn: 26:11

I know. That's why I reread it. It's okay, though. All right, that's. That's what we have for today, guys. Thank you so much for listening. Live on purpose, live on frequency, and we will catch you in the next episode. 

Jaclyn: 26:27

Thank you so much for listening to The Freq Show with Sam Thurmond and me, Jaclyn Steele Thurmond. We would love to connect with you via our website, beckonliving.com, and on social media.

Sam: 26:38

You can find us on Instagram and TikTok @beckonliving, and you can join our email list to receive uplifting messages, podcast and business updates, and discounts on high frequency products just for our Freqy community. 

Cheers to high frequency living!