The Freq Show
Our mission is to live the highest frequency lifestyle possible through the way we think, eat, relate, and interact with our environment. In the Freq Show, we explore the Frequency of Belief (knowing what you want, acting on it, and believing relentlessly that it is yours), healing your mind through healing your thoughts, & optimizing your life through harmonizing with the best frequencies possible.
Your hosts, Sam Thurmond and Jaclyn Steele Thurmond, are conquering the worlds of real estate investing, interior design, and high frequency entrepreneurship via their business, Beckon. Partners in both business and life, Sam and Jaclyn invite you to join them on an exhilarating journey of mindset growth, development, and proof around how The Frequency of Belief has the power to change EVERYTHING.
The Freq Show
43. Personal Development 9 Reason you need to spend time alone
In this episode, Jaclyn explores the powerful and often overlooked practice of spending time alone. She shares 9 essential reasons why solitude is crucial for maintaining a balanced and high-frequency life. From resetting your nervous system and clearing mental cobwebs, to deepening your connection with God and allowing inspiration to strike, Jaclyn highlights the many benefits of carving out solo time. She discusses how solitude provides the space to process life’s challenges, recalibrate, and reflect through journaling. Jaclyn emphasizes that taking time to simply rest, think, and do what fills you up is a vital part of nourishing your mind, body, and soul. Tune in for a conversation on why alone time is not just a luxury, but a necessary practice for growth and clarity.
Books Referenced:
Garden City by John Mark Comer
The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer
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Hello, hello, hello and welcome to the Freak Show. This is another solo episode. Sam and I, like I've mentioned in the last couple of episodes, have been whew. It's just been a busy, busy, busy start to the year. But I don't want to skip episodes because I love connecting with you guys and because of the busyness, because of the experiences that we're experiencing, we're also learning a lot of golden lessons that I don't want to miss out on sharing. But here we are.
Speaker 1:If you are looking for this episode on YouTube, it is all audio. I have not had time to set up the lights, the camera, the action, so the last well, this will be the third episode. That's just audio. We are going to go back to video, absolutely, but for the moment I'm really enjoying just being on audio. I am able to be in my workout clothes with no makeup, not that I couldn't do that in front of the camera too, but it's nice, because there's something about not being on camera in front of a mic. That feels kind of like a confessional. I don't feel like I'm being watched and while I'm still myself on camera, there is that like what do they call it in Hollywood? It's a second wall, a third wall, something like that. There's that feeling of like I'm being watched, so I have to be aware that I'm being watched, versus just being behind a microphone. I don't feel that, and so there's an ease to it.
Speaker 1:Anyway, this is episode 43. It's personal development and it's nine reasons you need to spend time alone. This is stuff that I think many of us probably know, but we need to be reminded. Over the last three months, life has been lifing, it has been survival mode in so many ways and like that's just life. Sometimes we go through seasons of just so much busyness and change and unpredictability, if that's a word, and so it's easy to get totally caught up, to lay your head down at night and just be totally exhausted and then wake up and immediately get to doing whatever it is that you need to do and go throughout your day without breaks, without rest, just getting the stuff done, just surviving. And so over the past week, my son started preschool, which is such a big deal, but I've been able to reclaim a little bit of time and I wanted to share with you what I've learned in and I'm just beginning still, because I feel like I've had so much to catch up on but what I am learning through having a little bit of breathing room, and number one is that we need to spend time alone for our nervous systems.
Speaker 1:If you are anything like me, even if you are spending time with your best friend, with your spouse and my spouse is my best friend I'm still aware that there's someone in the room. I'm still aware that that someone has feelings and needs, and I'm attuned to them because I care about him. I want him to be happy, I want him to feel calm, and what that does is. It doesn't mean I'm not able to relax around my person. I am, but there's still an awareness of considering someone else, and this is a good thing, right, we want to consider the people that we love, but, at the same time, our nervous systems cannot be on 24-7. And so, allowing ourselves a little space, a little time alone, even if it's two minutes in your car, before or after you get groceries, or you go to Target, or you're going to pick up your kid from school. Go five minutes early so you can just sit for a minute and allow your nervous system to calm down, allow the dust to settle, allow your breathing to become deeper and more spacious and more luscious and more nutrient dense. Our nervous systems in our current society are just consistently on hyperdrive. It taxes our adrenals, which then taxes our thyroid, and our thyroid is the master mechanic of our hormones, right? And so we need alone time to allow this beautiful, intricate, incredible nervous system of ours to relax. So, number one nervous system reset. Why you need to spend time alone. Number two is to clear the cobwebs and let the mind settle.
Speaker 1:I am someone who very much lives in my head. I have become better at being in the present moment, the older that I've gotten Thank Jesus for that. But especially as a mother and as a wife, I'm very anticipatory, right? I'm always trying to anticipate what people need, what we need to do next, how we're going to continue to build our business and grow and do all the things. I love that about myself. I'm ambitious, but it doesn't leave a lot of space to just be, just be.
Speaker 1:And when I am alone, when I feel my nervous system calming down and recalibrating, it allows my mind to settle, which then allows my breathing to become deeper, which allows me to think more clearly. Right, I'm not in fight or flight. You're not in fight or flight when you're resting a little bit. This is so essential if we want to live intentional, high-frequency lives. It takes intention, it takes thought, it takes energy to live at a high frequency and for most people it's not their default. I feel very fortunate in that my natural disposition is sunny, with a glass half full, but I still have to work at my mindset and the way that I speak to myself and the way that I approach things, and I want to get better and better and better at being high frequency in every single area. But I can't do that if I don't have a little space, if I don't have some alone time. So that's number two. That's number two Clear the cobwebs. You let the mind settle.
Speaker 1:Number three is time with God. We need time to build relationships and this is no different. This may be a controversial topic for some, as some people get uncomfortable talking about faith, talking about God, talking about Jesus. This is not uncomfortable for me. I very much believe in Jesus and I believe that my life is made better when I have my anchor in faith. That can look a myriad of different ways, but I believe that having a life rooted in something that is bigger than you, that loves you, that has a plan for your life. It not only resonates as truth to me, but it also feels really good because you feel like you constantly have support. But if we don't spend any time with God, it's hard to build that relationship right, and so alone time is essential for me to be able to spend some time with God, and recently the only like guaranteed and it's not totally guaranteed, because sometimes when I wake up really early, my son then wakes up really early but I have felt God telling me when I wake up, come, spend time with me, spend time with me, and maybe that's listening to a beautiful praise and worship song, like I did this morning.
Speaker 1:I listened to Holy Moment by Phil Wickham a couple of times and it was so beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes, but it just set the tone of my day in the right direction. I read you can read scripture, you can read whatever it is that fills you up. I journal a little bit, and this time this sets the tone of my day. It makes me feel grounded, it makes me feel rooted, it makes me feel supported, it makes me feel excited about life. Though I woke up early this morning, right as I was making my coffee, my son woke up too, and he is a better mommy when I have time to read, when I have time to meditate, when I have time to journal, and so he literally just laid with me. I sat on my bed, I read, I listened to that song, I journaled, and he laid next to me almost the entire time just quietly listening, kind of waking up himself, and it was a beautiful way to start the day before the chaos of getting ready and breakfast and showers and being on time for school sets in.
Speaker 1:So time with God for me is one of the nine reasons I need to spend time alone, because it grounds me. One of the nine reasons I need to spend time alone because it grounds me. Number four time to do nothing, slash, rest. This goes back to the nervous system. Reset. These are sister things. When we get time alone, I think so often, especially in the United States you know a country of hyper productivity we think, okay, well, I've got some alone time, what do I need to do? Let me take advantage of it. But we are called to rest. Our bodies need rest. There is winter for a reason. It doesn't mean that there isn't productivity brewing, but you don't have to be openly productive all of the time.
Speaker 1:One of the 10 commandments is to keep the Sabbath, because God made the Sabbath holy right. And again, I'm not trying to preach to you here, I'm just sharing things that work for me as I've gotten older and I am by no means even close to perfect at this, but I'm trying to honor a day a week, saturday or Sunday, to really rest and not use that as the time to make up for everything I didn't get to during the week, but to really allow myself to rejuvenate, to be present, to fill my own cup. Also wrote a beautiful book called the Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. I highly recommend both of those. We can link them in the show notes, but he goes in depth in both of these texts about how important it is to allow ourselves to rest, and not just rest, but to allow our minds to elevate through that rest. And I find that when I actually do allow myself to rest, I come back to society, to the world, to my community, to my family so much better. I'm more present, I'm more inspired. I'm more inspired, I'm more joyful.
Speaker 1:Okay, number five time to think and create clarity and center yourself. All of these nine reasons are interrelated, but they are different. I have to. When I am in survival mode, it is go, go, go, go, go, get done what needs to get done. But I don't feel like I am planning any steps ahead or necessarily making moving the needle forward toward what I want to create. And time alone allows me to recalibrate my thoughts and center myself in a way that allows me to remember what I'm here to do, and that is so important. Whether you feel a sense of purpose or not, it'll come if you don't. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, don't rush it, but when I have that alone time, it allows me to remember who I am, remember what I'm made of, remember what it is I am working toward and then to create steps in that direction, which is just absolutely essential if we want to create traction and momentum right. And so I need time alone to be able to even get to that point.
Speaker 1:Number six time to allow inspiration to strike. I love this one. I mean, how many of you, when you are driving or when you are in the shower? Many of you, when you are driving or when you are in the shower, do you get your best ideas? And it's because we are not as stimulated, we're not in front of a screen, we are able to allow the dust settle, dust to settle, and all of a sudden inspiration strikes. And it doesn't usually strike for me when I'm with a bunch of people or when I'm stimulated, or when I am, I don't know, plugged in, so to speak. It usually happens for me when I am quietly working out or walking or taking a shower or driving Alone.
Speaker 1:Time is not a luxury. It's a necessity to be human and to be the highest vibrational frequency version of ourselves. All right, number seven time to process what's happening in life and recalibrate Y'all. There's so much happening in the world, there's so much happening in our country right now. The inauguration was a week ago today. Wait, two weeks ago today. Two weeks ago today, no, one week ago today. See, time is so hard to keep track of, right? The inauguration was one week ago. There is so much happening, there's so much stimulation, and then that doesn't even take into account the stimulation we feel from work, from family, from relationships with friends and community. It's a lot, and family dynamics are a lot, and it can be so hard to know how to have healthy relationships and how to respond and how to protect ourselves and have boundaries if we do not have time alone to think and process and recalibrate, or even time to think and say, hey, this is who I wanna be in this relationship. I need to bring more grace to it or I need to have a better boundary here, because this person is, they just don't have any kind of respect for my boundaries and it's really sucking the life out of me. But we need that time to process, whether it's journaling or reading or just sitting and thinking and meditating on it. We need time to process what's happening in our lives so that we know how to act and react. Number eight time to journal.
Speaker 1:I've talked about journaling so many times in my podcast Self-Worth. I've talked about journaling in this podcast. I've talked about different methods of journaling and how I like to future frequency, compose and write out who I am going to be later in the day, later in the month, five years from now, and start just becoming that person. It's such a powerful exercise. But also to piggyback off of the last reason, which is to process what's happening in life, journaling is such an effective way to do this. I think it was Joan Didion who said I write so I know how I feel, or so I can figure out how I feel, and sometimes we need to just word vomit on the page to get it all out so it's not swirling around in our brains. But we can't really effectively journal if we aren't focused, if we don't have that time and space to really zone in on what we're feeling and then transfer that to the page. It's so important. Some of the hardest times in my life have been made better by filling up a journal, getting it out. I'm also a big fan of. If you are having difficulty with someone writing out what you feel, whether you send it to them or not, sometimes it's more effective not to to just let them be and to let yourself be, like Mel Robbins says, but to get it out of your system is very therapeutic and cathartic and necessary.
Speaker 1:Last reason number nine is to have time to do what fills you up. Oh, this is so underrated. This is so underrated. What do you love to do? You love to go horseback, riding, garden? Do jujitsu, mountain climb, build stuff? Do woodworking, read, watch a movie, cook, paint your nails, give yourself a facial? I don't know. Do dude stuff? If you're a guy listening to this, having time to do. What fills you up is not a luxury. This is a necessity If you want to show up as the highest frequency version of yourself. You cannot do that from an empty tank. You have to refill and ideally do a little of that daily.
Speaker 1:For me, that refilling often occurs in the morning, when I'm reading, when I'm meditating, when I'm journaling. I also I'm trying to get better about this but building time even into my workday to take 15 minutes to read. I remember when I worked in the corporate world and I had lunch breaks you know your 20 minute or 30 minute lunch break, whatever it was and I would go into the lobby of the business that I worked in in this giant building the business that I worked in in this giant building and I would bring whatever book I was reading and I would just sit and read for like 20 or 30 minutes and I went back to my desk. So much calmer, so much more present, so much more at ease, because I took a little time and refilled my cup. And refilled my cup. So let this be your permission to do something, even if it feels frivolous, that is just for you, that makes you feel really good, because that will allow you not only to feel good, which is important, but to show up as a better version of yourself, to your family, to the people that you love, to your community, to the world, et cetera.
Speaker 1:So, in review personal development, nine reasons you need to spend time alone. Number one is for your nervous system to reset. Number two is to clear the cobwebs and let the mind settle. Number three is to spend time with God, because we need time to build relationships, and that's no different in regard to the relationship with our creator. Number four time to do nothing, rest. Number five time to think and create clarity and center yourself. Time to think and create clarity and center yourself. Number six time to allow inspiration to strike. Number seven time to process what's happening in life and then allow yourself to recalibrate. Number eight time to journal. Number nine time to do what fills you up.
Speaker 1:So I hope, as you finish up this episode, you will do what fills you up. You will take that extra two, five, 10 minutes, even an hour, even two hours, to allow yourself to pour into your own life, to recalibrate, to let the dust settle, to clear the cobwebs, to do the things that will allow you to show up as the highest frequency version of yourself. I am sending you so much love today. May you feel it in everything that you do. Live on purpose, live on frequency, and I will connect with you. We will connect with you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening. Thank you so much for listening to the Freak Show with Sam Thurmond and me, jacqueline Steele Thurmond. We would love to connect with you via our website, beckonlivingcom, and on social media. You can find us on Instagram and TikTok at Beckon Living and you can join our email list to receive uplifting messages, podcast and business updates and discounts on high-frequency products just for our freaky community. Cheers to high frequency living.